I have a lovely male friend in my life at the moment and over the last few months I’ve allowed myself to believe that we could become more than just friends. He indicated several times that he was interested in me in that way but, after waltzing to the sound of ‘will we or won’t we’, the dance has got, quite frankly, boring. The proverbial straw was this recent text message: “I think you want more out of a relationship than I do”. How he came to this conclusion is a mystery but it made me mad as hell. Since we have never had any sort of relationship in the traditional sense (never been out together alone, never been physically intimate (other than in an affectionate way e.g. hugs), never had conversations about “us”, never declared any feelings other than ‘I like you’, never told each other secrets or even held hands) I can only assume that he has changed his mind or worse still, has made assumptions about what I’m thinking without any evidence to back it up. So, rather than lose a good friend, I’ve handed in my dance card and exited the floor.
But it got me thinking about why some people decide ahead of time what their relationship with another person is going to be. I’ve been around long enough to know that no-one ever really knows where any relationship will end up. Will it last a few weeks or months, a few years or forever? To know, you have to actually start something to find out and deciding from the outset which way you want it to go, is completely redundant and frankly, insulting to the other person. I think it essentially says ‘I want this relationship on my terms and on mine alone’ which isn’t a relationship at all is it?
Have you had an experience like this? Do you agree with me? Or do you think it just comes down to ‘he’s just not that into you’! (I could handle the latter if instead of double-speak, he just said it!). What do you think?
Categories: Just Plain Blog